This is a video of Brene Brown’s marvelous TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability.  This should be required viewing for the entire human race.

Dining at an expensive restaurant – especially one that is famous for an extensive “game” menu - with four kids is an adventure not many parents I know would embark upon.   But this was a celebratory evening – Kendall and Sophie had graduated with honors from 8th and 5th grades respectively and Michael and I felt it was time to treat them to a grown up meal.  Translation:  one menu (no kids’ menu), all meals were a pricey and did not come with a salad, desert or drink.  Lesson # 1: Definition of a la carte.

After they asked, we told the kids that, no, we would not just give them the money if they chose not to order – Lesson #2: expensive restaurants are about the “experience” (dang these kids are going to be great investors) – all but one dove in and order something unusual – just to try it.   The result – a wonderful array of elk, lamb, raw fish, cooked salmon, freshly made Cesar salad dressing and deserts that would please any palate regardless of age or food orientation.

“This doesn’t taste like Cesar!” exclaimed Paris dismayed by the one thing other than mashed potatoes on the menu that she felt she might be able to stomach – she is used to the good but bottled variety.  Still, she was a trooper and gave it a second and third chance.  Their willingness to be adventurous was truly impressive and I am sure influenced by Michael who is always game (pun intended) for just about anything.

Kendall delighted in his New Zealand Elk tenderloin.  In true form, he ordered the most expensive thing on the menu just because it was the most expensive thing on the menu.  He loved it. 

“You can taste the hide,” Kamden said after sampling his brother’s elk dish.  All chewing around the table paused after that comment, but if the giant moose, antelope, and elk heads looking down upon us didn’t stop them from eating the meat, then one comment about the reality of what they were eating wasn’t going to either.  Lesson #3:  When in Rome….

“The salmon is really good,” Sophie remarked after finally convincing Kamden to give up a bite from his plate.  Sadly, she did not like her filet mignon, understandable as she ordered it with the rich wild mushroom bordelaise sauce on the side.  Without the sauce, it’s just a plain piece of really expensive meat.  Lesson #4:  Fancy restaurant food is all about the rich sauces.

After wondering what each of us would say if we could throw our voices ventriloquist style and make the heads above other tables talk (and freak out the diners below) – “Mom?  Is that you?”  “Don’t eat me – it hurts!”  “That’s my brother!”  Michael, just a bit too loudly, blurted out, “EAT DUCK!”  We all buried our heads a bit and tried to conceal our laughter, for our kids (who were the only kids in the entire restaurant) had done a great job up to that point at maintaining “fancy restaurant behavior.”   Lesson #5:  Ultimately, whatever it is, is always the parents’ fault.  (Hilarious!)

Two and a half hours later, an enormous amount of food, and a bill that sent the kids into a tizzy about the what percentage of an iPad they could have owned for the price of the meal, we all left with fond memories, some great stories to tell, full stomachs and a priceless family experience.

In reflection, one thing stands out about how Alberta lived her life.  She did not live in the past, nor did she dwell in it.  She chose to live in the present moment. To love in the present moment.  For life is not about the love we did not receive in the past, or the pain of the past and our attempt to heal from it, life is about the love we give to others, today.

“It takes great courage and personal strength to hold on to our center during times of great hurt.  It takes wisdom to understand that our reactiveness only fans the flames of false drama.  Love creates a mystical shield around us, protecting us from chaos.  When we are in the midst of loss…or crisis of any kind, there is power in the words, ‘Be still and know that I am.’   There is no loss except in time…and time does not exist.”  – A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson

Only love is real.  And Alberta, your love will live on today and every day.  Dance in peace.