This is a video of Brene Brown’s marvelous TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability.  This should be required viewing for the entire human race.

Dining at an expensive restaurant – especially one that is famous for an extensive “game” menu - with four kids is an adventure not many parents I know would embark upon.   But this was a celebratory evening – Kendall and Sophie had graduated with honors from 8th and 5th grades respectively and Michael and I felt it was time to treat them to a grown up meal.  Translation:  one menu (no kids’ menu), all meals were a pricey and did not come with a salad, desert or drink.  Lesson # 1: Definition of a la carte.

After they asked, we told the kids that, no, we would not just give them the money if they chose not to order – Lesson #2: expensive restaurants are about the “experience” (dang these kids are going to be great investors) – all but one dove in and order something unusual – just to try it.   The result – a wonderful array of elk, lamb, raw fish, cooked salmon, freshly made Cesar salad dressing and deserts that would please any palate regardless of age or food orientation.

“This doesn’t taste like Cesar!” exclaimed Paris dismayed by the one thing other than mashed potatoes on the menu that she felt she might be able to stomach – she is used to the good but bottled variety.  Still, she was a trooper and gave it a second and third chance.  Their willingness to be adventurous was truly impressive and I am sure influenced by Michael who is always game (pun intended) for just about anything.

Kendall delighted in his New Zealand Elk tenderloin.  In true form, he ordered the most expensive thing on the menu just because it was the most expensive thing on the menu.  He loved it. 

“You can taste the hide,” Kamden said after sampling his brother’s elk dish.  All chewing around the table paused after that comment, but if the giant moose, antelope, and elk heads looking down upon us didn’t stop them from eating the meat, then one comment about the reality of what they were eating wasn’t going to either.  Lesson #3:  When in Rome….

“The salmon is really good,” Sophie remarked after finally convincing Kamden to give up a bite from his plate.  Sadly, she did not like her filet mignon, understandable as she ordered it with the rich wild mushroom bordelaise sauce on the side.  Without the sauce, it’s just a plain piece of really expensive meat.  Lesson #4:  Fancy restaurant food is all about the rich sauces.

After wondering what each of us would say if we could throw our voices ventriloquist style and make the heads above other tables talk (and freak out the diners below) – “Mom?  Is that you?”  “Don’t eat me – it hurts!”  “That’s my brother!”  Michael, just a bit too loudly, blurted out, “EAT DUCK!”  We all buried our heads a bit and tried to conceal our laughter, for our kids (who were the only kids in the entire restaurant) had done a great job up to that point at maintaining “fancy restaurant behavior.”   Lesson #5:  Ultimately, whatever it is, is always the parents’ fault.  (Hilarious!)

Two and a half hours later, an enormous amount of food, and a bill that sent the kids into a tizzy about the what percentage of an iPad they could have owned for the price of the meal, we all left with fond memories, some great stories to tell, full stomachs and a priceless family experience.

Dear Friends,

Too many children are growing up around the world without parents.  And that is not okay.   Kids who have lost their parents experience severe trauma.  And without consistent nurturing by the same, caring adult, they do not develop as they should.  This results in developmental delays, emotional challenges and learning problems.  Without the intervention of a parent, they do not do well – they end up not finishing school, becoming teen parents, being trafficked, committing crimes and spending time living in prison and on the streets.  With the help of a family orphans and foster youth can succeed – and live productive lives.

Supporting Kidsave as we move into the New Year – or as you finish your charitable giving for 2010 – can make a dramatic difference in a child’s life.  Make this the year you host or financially sponsor a child – or become an advocate.

·        Please help us connect families to children in need.  Learn more about hosting or sign up online at  http://www.kidsave.org/host.shtml

·        Hosting and adopting isn’t for everyone.  So if you can’t give time please make a gift to Kidsave and make a difference in the life of a child.  A simple gift of $25 per month will make a big difference in Kidsave’s ability to keep working for these children.  Please give as you can at:  https://www.kidsaveinternational.org/SSLPage.aspx?pid=379

We are grateful for all you have done to help us and hope you will think about how you can best help children find families – or help advocate for change in how orphaned children are cared for – in 2011.  Please let Randi (Randi@kidsave.org) or me know (terry@kidsave.org) how you’d like to get involved.

Wishing you all the happiest and healthiest of New Years – and again, thank you for your support.

Terry Baugh

Terry Baugh
President
Kidsave
www.kidsave.org

5185 MacArthur Blvd., NW, Suite 108
Washington, DC 20016
Direct: 202 280 6327
Main: 202 237 7328
Cell: 202 352 5437
FAX: 202 237 7080
…Finding families for children the world has forgotten

And a voice echoed around the world – enjoy!

http://www.modernmom.com/article-7913-killing-off-supermom/#jumpToArticle

KILLING OFF SUPERMOM by Lisa Quinn

I’ll be honest with you. In my house, the beds are rarely made unless someone is coming to visit. Sometimes I yell. My closet is a disaster and I feel guilty that I work too much. My kids watch more TV than they should. And I simply cannot afford to go all organic right now. There is a sticky shelf in my refrigerator that I keep hoping will evaporate on its own, and this morning I had to send my son off to camp with a PB&J made with frozen waffles because I forgot to buy bread. I’m not perfect. There, I said it…

Bye Bye Supermom
This whole supermom thing has become cliché, and frankly, I’m getting too old for it. It was a fascinating social experiment, watching the women’s movement evolve from “you can have it all” to “you need to do it all (and do it all perfectly)”. No, you can’t. I’m calling B.S. Show me a woman who can do it all, and I’ll show you a woman who has hired help (and something to prove). Supermom, as a subspecies, has outlived her usefulness. It is time for her to go.

Perfection Doesn’t Exist
Here’s the thing: Perfection doesn’t exist. Perfectionism is purely a mental, alienating, and unnatural state. It causes judgment and makes people feel bad. How can that be “a good thing”? We kid ourselves (and do a disservice to our kids) by thinking anything will ever be perfect. Everyone struggles at some point in life. It is our duty as moms to make sure our kids know that, and are prepared for the hurdles life is bound to throw them. Supermom may have the best-dressed, most mild-mannered, educated children ever, but mine know how to make their lunch, dress a wound, and pick a lock. Who’s laughing now?

Picture Perfect
Just the other day, I was on a plane and saw Gwyneth Paltrow in this month’s Vogue. She’s striking a glamorous pose in her kitchen, preparing “easy!” locally grown, organic, vegan, after school snacks in an $865 Michael Kors crepe flounce skirt and 7-inch Louboutins. Her hair looks amazing, and there are a few toys tossed about (but not a kid to be found). Really Gwyneth? Is this how we’re going to play? I didn’t look that elegant at my wedding, dammit. Thanks for making me feel bad.

Celebrating the Imperfect Mom
I get it; it’s Vogue. I would like to publish my own magazine called, “Half-Assed”. It would celebrate the imperfect mom – the renegade who can make an impromptu gift bag out of a Happy Meal box on the way to the party. The mom who believes if somebody made it, then it’s homemade. Need a cave-man costume for school – TODAY? Our gal’s got a pair of scissors, a sharpie, and paper grocery bag at the ready.

I Used to Be One
One last confession: I used to be a Supermom (well, I tried really hard). I used to throw these crazy Dios de los Muertos parties every year. It was what I lived for. Very much like the Olympics, preparations began far in advance, and I was a total mess the whole time. It took a fairly serious party injury for me to realize that maybe I was in over my head. The day of the party had arrived. A 185 of our closest friends would be showing up at my doorstep any minute. As usual, I was determined to make sure every last one of them would be thoroughly impressed and amazed by my domestic superiority. I’d spent weeks pouring over every detail, and it was finally coming together. Freshly squeezed lime juice and crushed mint for the mojitos? Check. Authentic Oaxacan festival masks hung on the foyer staircase with care? Check. Homicidal threats made to any child who might decide to trash their room? Check.

The Eye-Opening Incident
As I glanced at my reflection just moments before the first guests were to arrive, I noticed a tiny smudge at the very top of the bathroom mirror. Initially, I tried to ignore it, but it eventually wore me down. “Martha Stewart would never host a party with a smudge on her mirror” echoed through my head. So, I ever-so-gently scaled the bathroom countertop, in my heels, and stood on stretched tiptoe to remove the offending smudge. That’s when I slipped. My big toe broke the fall by breaking itself. It was at that very moment, as I lay on the floor, crying in pain, that I looked up and saw that I’d only made the smudge worse…

The Time of My Life
My toe swelled up like a baby eggplant, and I ended up hobbling around in Crocs all night like. I couldn’t run around making sure everyone’s drink was full, I couldn’t bus the tables, and I couldn’t assemble those cute little sugar skull TO GO packages I was famous for. And you know what? It was the best party I ever threw. I got to sit down and be with my family and friends. I’ve learned over the years to actively participate in my life; not to just cater it from the sidelines. 

Time to Redefine
It’s time to redefine what being a good wife, mom, hostess, and human being means. I don’t want my kids growing up with memories of how clean the house always was. I want them to remember the fun and the love. Who cares what anybody else thinks? You want to make memories in your home. And sometimes when you’re making memories, you’re making a mess. Embrace the chaos. While news of her death may be premature, Supermom is on life support. Maybe it’s time to pull the plug.

About the Author

Lisa Quinn is a recovering Martha-holic, Emmy Award winning TV host, mother of two and the author of “Life’s Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets; Your Ultimate Guide to Domestic Liberation”