Dealing with preteen and teenage boys has been a handful. Someone I thought might understand was my mom. She is always so supportive and well, listens without judgment, which I have come to learn at this point in my life, is what a truly supportive relationship looks like.

Recently, my teenage son spent a few days with my parents. Upon returning him to me safe and sound, my mother had also gone through her extensive library of books and pulled together a selection she thought might be helpful. What you must know is that my mother loves books and does not “get rid” of them after reading them or let go of them lightly. Having not thought of this fact in years (since helping her clear out the magazine collection dating back to 1960), I was once again gifted with this knowledge as I howled with delight at the unique selections she bequeathed upon me to deal with my boys. Now. In the year 2010. Following is a selection of my favorites:

Hi There, High School! by Gay Head (seriously). @1953. With chapter titles like “Come and Get It” and “Heads – You Win,” this little gem alone has provided for hours of amusement – among the adults only, mind you, anything else would be bad parenting.

How to Live With Your Teenager by Peter H. Buntman and Eleanor M. Saris, ©1979, states 31 years ago what every parent I know proclaims today: “Never before has it been harder to be a teenager. It’s harder still today to be the parents of a teenager.” I can’t help but ride my high horse on this one and wonder how it could possibly have been hard in 1979 as compare to now. But then again, I suppose everyone in the “now” thinks their situation is harder/different/unique/more difficult – making the “now” irrelevant. In reality, there are probably more similarities than differences, regardless of when “now” is. So, I dismount to join the conversation.

And, not that it has anything to do with parenting, per se, but the TWA Flying Library book (OMG, does anyone else remember those? And the free playing cards/pins/activity books/pillows they used to give kids on airplanes?) Jump Ball by Oscar Robertson, ©1972, brings up a few key points that resonated…”…To play a winning game you should have it (confidence) in great abundance. And you will, if you believe in yourself. Your confidence will grow as your skills grow. You’ll feel it happening.” Lord knows I have developed parenting skills over the last 14 years. And if I were to start all over again with what I know now, that baby would probably have a different up bringing. But, honestly speaking, the basis of my beliefs and morals that I have tried to instill in my kids so that one day I can release them out into the wild as good human beings, probably would have dominated any ancillary changes I made with that new knowledge.

Perhaps the best advice I read for raising kids is again by Oscar Robertson, and although he may be talking about basketball, no one is ever really just talking about one thing, are they?

“The only rule is to avoid using any fake twice which didn’t work the first time.”

For numerous reasons, my family does not eat out much anymore. My kids have decided they are too old for the kids’ menus and have developed a taste for filet mignon and lobster. But, regardless of the cost, it is akin to entering into labor negotiations to get everyone to agree on one restaurant. Trying to find one with an outdoor patio to enjoy the summer evening should have sent me into a tailspin of “Why do I bother?” but it actually turned out fairly quickly with everyone agreeing on Maggiano’s. As someone who views pasta a condiment or “desert” to be enjoyed only occasionally, I always forget everyone else (not on a diet) loves pasta.

Perusing the menu after giving up on forcing the kids’ menu on my eldest son, I noticed a new line under their Classic Pasta section, and I am paraphrasing here: “If you order any one of our classic pastas, choose another to take home for dinner tomorrow.” I read it again. And once again. Then called the waitress over. Yes, it did indeed say, Buy One Get One Free. Spaghetti, Lasagna, Fettuccine Alfredo, Four-Cheese Ravioli, Gnocchi, Angel Hair Pasta with Sausage, Baked Ziti, Eggplant Parmesan, and Spaghetti with Meatball. Buy One Get One Free. The free take home dish does not even have to be the same dish that you ordered for dinner. At $12.95, it makes everyone’s dinner for the next two nights roughly the price of a kid’s meal. No arguing over which menu to order from. No cooking for two evenings in a row. Happy full tummies. No cheap toys to add to the clutter in the car. Just good adult meals big enough to share. Everyone wins. I must now go reheat the Mom’s Lasagna for dinner tonight. Delicious!

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