Trudging through a massive resistance phase?  “Resistant to what?” is the ultimate question.  The answer? Whatever lies on the other side of fear.  Fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of success, fear of getting, doing, being, having it all.  Fear of disappointment.  Fear of change.  Tired of wallowing in the still waters of resistance, decide to stop fighting it and lean into it.

If it did not matter, there would be no resistance. Whatever lies behind the resistance is whatever is next.  Embrace it. Move through it. Follow it.  Get to the other side.  The only other option is indifference.

On this day, I will commit
To seeing you as you are.

On this day, I will commit
To finishing the race, no matter how far.

On this day, I will commit
To being honest with you.

On this day, I will commit
To not just one question, but rather two.

Commitment is not a subjective pledge.
Entrusting, binding, dedicating.
It restricts your freedom.
It is a state of being.
It is a reflection
Of your inner most desires.

“View a day’s work as a chance to generate gifts that last.”
-Seth Godin

Recently, a child cried on my son’s shoulder at graduation.  No one showed up for her.  No one to see her walk across the stage or stand and be honored for her achievements.  The seats reserved for her family were empty.  My son felt so bad.  To make matters worse, he had been invited to the after graduation party her family was throwing at a retail location down the street.   The kids were going to get to hang out, mix CD’s, eat, and, evidently, be filmed for a reality TV series.  So, where was her family?  Evidently, prepping for the party.  It turns out that they were more concerned about how they would appear on camera at a 5^th grade graduation party for some rinky dink reality show than they were about actually showing up for their kid’s big moment.   That’s some seriously messed up priorities.

My son’s friend and many of their friends did go to her parents’ “wanna be reality TV show / CD mixin’ / D-celebrity who doesn’t show up to her kid’s graduation party” but my son chose to go to another party.   And in a moment of reflection, at the end of the day, he grabbed my hand and said, “Thanks mom, for being there for me today.”

Kids notice.  And they know what’s going on.  And if you tell yourself that “it” (whatever it is) is no big deal or that there will be plenty of other “its” then you might want to examine your priorities and question why you became a parent in the first place.

The other day I was listening to a friend complain about her life.  “Why me?” she kept saying.  Over and over and over.  In regards to her career, “I get so close and then it falls apart.”  In regards to her kids, “Why couldn’t I have the easy kids?”   In regards to her husband and friends and finances and car and on and on, “Why me!?!”

After listening and recognizing much of my own life in her rant, I had a moment of truth, “Why not you?”  The silence was deafening.  I was quiet because I was reflecting on my own life and why shouldn’t my life be the way it is?  She was quiet, I believe, because she was trying hard not to bite my head off.  I can hear her now with someone new, “I was talking to a friend who was sooo unsupportive.  Why me?”

What she may never realize is that I was being truly supportive, opening up a conversation that she may not be able to have with anyone else.  A two-way conversation about the reality of today.  Her reality.  My reality.  Why not you?  Why not me?

This question also pertains to all the good in life.  Like the random day last week when I came home from my early morning trail run and my son had made me chocolate dipped strawberries, a bowl of Cheerios, and my favorite tea.   All because he thinks I am the best mom in the world.  Why not me?

When life does not seem to be going your way, perhaps it’s best to change your perspective as opposed to your direction.

There are two rules for success:

1.) Don’t tell all you know

Thanks, Shari.  You rock.