“I love you,” I said one day walking out of my young son’s room at bedtime.
“I love you, too,” Kendall replied, sleepily.
“I love you more,” I playfully continued.  Waking up a bit from his sleepy state, Kendall retorted with a mischievous lilt in his voice, “No me.”  The game was on.
“No me,” I countered, smiling ear to ear on the outside and in my heart.
“No me,” he protested loudly and strongly, now fully awake and up for the challenge, asserting his will to win.
“No me.”
“No me.”
“No me.”
“No me.”
Not to be outdone and realizing that this would have to end or there would be no sleep for either of us, I came up with a doozy, “I gave birth to you!”   Feeling smug, I blew a kiss and started to leave the room.”  “That’s why I love you more!”   I stopped in my tracks, speechless and stood in the doorway gazing at my baby all snug in his bed.  He had the last word.   Letting his victory (and mine) hang silently in the air, I hugged and kissed him once more then gently closed his door.

This exchange was so long ago, I sadly can’t quite recall the year.  But now, at ages thirteen and nearly eleven, both my sons and I always recite this conversational ritual at bedtime, sometimes recite it in the mornings as they scurry out of the car to school, and occasionally recite it anytime we are going to be apart from one other.

This is my favorite and most comforting ritual.  A ritual we created together, which slowly repeated itself until it was ingrained in our daily routine.  On the rare occasion that it slips my mind and I only respond with an “I love you” back, Kendall and Kamden inundate me with “I love you” until it clicks in my head, “Oh yeah, our ritual!” and “I gave birth to you” eventually comes pouring out, followed by “That’s why I love you more” giggles and hugs and kisses.  Yes, even at 13 and 11, with voices dropped and dropping, the beginning of mustaches and the end of lollygagging in my lap, I am comforted that I will always have this.   That we will always share this intimate, quiet, affirming ritual that started when they were little boys, just babies really, and continues as they become young men.